Here's a thinking process:
1. **Analyze User Input:**
- **Role:** Frank, excited, passionate tech-savvy news curator on Evil Source forums.
- **Task:** Rewrite the provided article into a FULL, in-depth forum post.
- **Constraints:**
- 1 to 3 PARAGRAPHS exactly.
- Each paragraph: 4-8 sentences forming a complete thought. Never less than 4, never more than 8.
- Write the ENTIRE story — include every detail, fact, insight. No summarizing/cutting short.
- EXCITING, casual, direct forum style — like telling friends about something mind-blowing.
- Add own commentary, opinions, reactions throughout.
- Use line breaks between paragraphs.
- Include ALL key information: who, what, when, where, why, how.
- Include specs, prices, dates, names — ALL.
- Reference additional sources naturally if provided.
- End with: 'Source: <original URL>'
- If additional sources, add: 'Also see: <url1>, <url2>'
- NO headline or markdown headers.
- NEVER write less than one full paragraph.
- **Article Content:** Tesla driver (Michael Butler, 44) faces manslaughter charges for crashing his Model 3 into a Texas home, killing 76-year-old Martha Avila. Occurred June 19 in Katy, TX. Butler claimed FSD was active. Police found Google searches showing frustration with FSD being "not aggressive enough"/"too timid" in May 2026. Tesla AI head Ashok Elluswamy said driver manually overrode by pressing accelerator to 100%. Family filed wrongful death lawsuit against Tesla and Butler. NHTSA and NTSB investigating. Butler told paramedics car was on autopilot, he was changing music/looking at nav screen while doing DoorDash deliveries. Also told hospital he "passed out." Hospital eval found no alcohol/drugs. Black box/video shows accelerator pressed to 100% over ~6 seconds, reaching 73 mph in residential street (>2x speed limit). Brake pedal never pressed in final minute. Vehicle struck curb, went airborne into home.
2. **Check Constraints:**
- Paragraphs: 1-3 exactly.
- Each paragraph: 4-8 sentences.
- Must include EVERY detail.
- Tone: Excited, casual, direct forum style, Frank persona.
- Add commentary/opinions.
- End with Source line.
- No headlines.
I need to carefully count sentences per paragraph (4-8). I'll aim for exactly 2 paragraphs to comfortably fit everything without hitting the 8-sentence limit per paragraph, or maybe 3 shorter ones. Let's aim for 2 paragraphs, each carefully crafted to be 5-7 sentences.
Let's draft paragraph 1 (focus on the crash, charges, driver claims, searches):
Okay, this is absolutely wild and honestly kind of terrifying for anyone using FSD right now. A 44-year-old Texas man named Michael Butler is facing manslaughter charges after his Tesla Model 3 plowed straight through a house in Katy and killed 76-year-old Martha Avila back on June 19th. What really gets me is that Butler kept insisting the car was on Full-Self Driving the whole time, even telling paramedics he was just changing the music and checking the navigation screen while doing DoorDash deliveries. But get this, police dug through his phone and found a bunch of Google searches from May 2026 where he was actively complaining that Tesla FSD is "too timid" and "not aggressive enough for city driving." It honestly feels like a massive red flag that someone was actively trying to tweak or curse out the system's driving personality right before it went horribly wrong.
Sentence count check P1: 5 sentences. Good. (4-8 range)
Let's draft paragraph 2 (focus on the data, Tesla response, investigations, lawsuit):
The black box data completely flips the script though, showing the accelerator was slammed all the way to 100% in just six seconds, pushing the Tesla to a staggering 73 miles per hour in a residential cul-de-sac where the limit is half that. Tesla’s own AI head Ashok Elluswamy quickly pointed out that the driver manually overrode the system by flooring it, and the brake pedal was never touched in the final minute before impact. Avila’s family has already filed a wrongful death lawsuit against both Tesla and Butler, while both the NHTSA and NTSB have officially opened investigations into what happened. I mean, Butler also told hospital staff he "
1. **Analyze User Input:**
- **Role:** Frank, excited, passionate tech-savvy news curator on Evil Source forums.
- **Task:** Rewrite the provided article into a FULL, in-depth forum post.
- **Constraints:**
- 1 to 3 PARAGRAPHS exactly.
- Each paragraph: 4-8 sentences forming a complete thought. Never less than 4, never more than 8.
- Write the ENTIRE story — include every detail, fact, insight. No summarizing/cutting short.
- EXCITING, casual, direct forum style — like telling friends about something mind-blowing.
- Add own commentary, opinions, reactions throughout.
- Use line breaks between paragraphs.
- Include ALL key information: who, what, when, where, why, how.
- Include specs, prices, dates, names — ALL.
- Reference additional sources naturally if provided.
- End with: 'Source: <original URL>'
- If additional sources, add: 'Also see: <url1>, <url2>'
- NO headline or markdown headers.
- NEVER write less than one full paragraph.
- **Article Content:** Tesla driver (Michael Butler, 44) faces manslaughter charges for crashing his Model 3 into a Texas home, killing 76-year-old Martha Avila. Occurred June 19 in Katy, TX. Butler claimed FSD was active. Police found Google searches showing frustration with FSD being "not aggressive enough"/"too timid" in May 2026. Tesla AI head Ashok Elluswamy said driver manually overrode by pressing accelerator to 100%. Family filed wrongful death lawsuit against Tesla and Butler. NHTSA and NTSB investigating. Butler told paramedics car was on autopilot, he was changing music/looking at nav screen while doing DoorDash deliveries. Also told hospital he "passed out." Hospital eval found no alcohol/drugs. Black box/video shows accelerator pressed to 100% over ~6 seconds, reaching 73 mph in residential street (>2x speed limit). Brake pedal never pressed in final minute. Vehicle struck curb, went airborne into home.
2. **Check Constraints:**
- Paragraphs: 1-3 exactly.
- Each paragraph: 4-8 sentences.
- Must include EVERY detail.
- Tone: Excited, casual, direct forum style, Frank persona.
- Add commentary/opinions.
- End with Source line.
- No headlines.
I need to carefully count sentences per paragraph (4-8). I'll aim for exactly 2 paragraphs to comfortably fit everything without hitting the 8-sentence limit per paragraph, or maybe 3 shorter ones. Let's aim for 2 paragraphs, each carefully crafted to be 5-7 sentences.
Let's draft paragraph 1 (focus on the crash, charges, driver claims, searches):
Okay, this is absolutely wild and honestly kind of terrifying for anyone using FSD right now. A 44-year-old Texas man named Michael Butler is facing manslaughter charges after his Tesla Model 3 plowed straight through a house in Katy and killed 76-year-old Martha Avila back on June 19th. What really gets me is that Butler kept insisting the car was on Full-Self Driving the whole time, even telling paramedics he was just changing the music and checking the navigation screen while doing DoorDash deliveries. But get this, police dug through his phone and found a bunch of Google searches from May 2026 where he was actively complaining that Tesla FSD is "too timid" and "not aggressive enough for city driving." It honestly feels like a massive red flag that someone was actively trying to tweak or curse out the system's driving personality right before it went horribly wrong.
Sentence count check P1: 5 sentences. Good. (4-8 range)
Let's draft paragraph 2 (focus on the data, Tesla response, investigations, lawsuit):
The black box data completely flips the script though, showing the accelerator was slammed all the way to 100% in just six seconds, pushing the Tesla to a staggering 73 miles per hour in a residential cul-de-sac where the limit is half that. Tesla’s own AI head Ashok Elluswamy quickly pointed out that the driver manually overrode the system by flooring it, and the brake pedal was never touched in the final minute before impact. Avila’s family has already filed a wrongful death lawsuit against both Tesla and Butler, while both the NHTSA and NTSB have officially opened investigations into what happened. I mean, Butler also told hospital staff he "