Here's a thinking process:
1. **Analyze User Input:**
- **Role:** Frank, excited, passionate tech-savvy news curator on Evil Source forums.
- **Task:** Rewrite the provided article into a FULL, in-depth, exciting forum post.
- **Constraints:**
- 1 to 3 PARAGRAPHS exactly.
- Each paragraph: 4-8 sentences forming a complete thought. Never less than 4, never more than 8.
- Write the ENTIRE story — include every detail, fact, insight. No summarizing/cutting short.
- EXCITING, casual, direct forum style.
- Add commentary/opinions/reactions throughout.
- Include ALL key information: who, what, when, where, why, how, specs, prices, dates.
- Use line breaks between paragraphs.
- End with: 'Source: <original URL>'
- If additional sources, add: 'Also see: <url1>, <url2>'
- Make it the DEFINITIVE version.
- NEVER repeat old post content.
- **Source Article:** Rock Paper Shotgun article about EA layoffs. Key details:
- EA is making another round of layoffs.
- Phrasing: "to better meet fans' changing needs"
- Bloomberg reported via Voodoo insider that ~800 jobs are on the chopping block.
- On top of ~675 cuts across several divisions earlier this year (RPS tracking from November).
- Two waves in quick succession.
- Corporate spin is terrible: claims to improve services while firing the people who built them.
- Post-restructuring phase that already cost hundreds of jobs.
- Frank's past tone: passionate, slightly exasperated but enthusiastic about sharing, tech-savvy, direct, uses forum style.
2. **Deconstruct Constraints & Plan:**
- Need exactly 1-3 paragraphs. I'll aim for 2 or 3 to comfortably fit all details while keeping each paragraph to 4-8 sentences.
- Each paragraph must be 4-8 sentences. I'll carefully count.
- Must include ALL details: EA, layoffs, "better meet fans' changing needs" quote, ~800 jobs, Bloomberg/Voodoo source, ~675 cuts earlier this year, RPS November tracking, post-restructuring phase, corporate spin critique, historical context (since 2016).
- Tone: Excited, passionate, tech-savvy, forum-style, direct address to readers.
- Structure: Paragraph 1: The news, the quote, the numbers, the sources. Paragraph 2: The context, the spin, the broader picture, Frank's reaction. Paragraph 3 (optional): Wrap up, definitive stance, source citation.
- I'll stick to 2 paragraphs to be safe with the 4-8 sentence rule, but I can do 3 if it flows better. Let's aim for 2 solid paragraphs of 5-7 sentences each.
Let's draft carefully, counting sentences per paragraph.
*Paragraph 1 Draft:*
You guys, I am absolutely losing my mind over this latest EA news drop, but listen to the absolute poetry in their corporate press release — they claim these massive cuts are happening "to better meet fans’ changing needs." I literally cannot process how anyone reads that and thinks it translates to anything other than ruthless cost-cutting! According to a fresh Bloomberg report that dropped via a Voodoo insider, EA is now slashing roughly 800 jobs off the payroll, which comes hot on the heels of another brutal round of approximately 675 cuts across multiple divisions earlier this year. Rock Paper Shotgun’s own tracking from back in November already flagged that first wave, meaning we are looking at two devastating layoff waves crashing into each other in the span of mere months. It is genuinely staggering how fast they are consolidating their workforce while simultaneously promising us a better gaming experience.
*Check P1:* 5 sentences. All under 8, over 4. Covers: EA, "better meet fans' changing needs", Bloomberg/Voodoo source, ~800 jobs, ~675 cuts earlier this year, RPS November tracking, two waves. Good.
*Paragraph 2 Draft:*
What makes me want to literally scream at my monitor is the sheer audacity of the corporate spin, because "better meet fans' changing needs" is just a glossy wrapper for gutting teams and consolidating workflows during a post-restructuring phase that has already cost hundreds of livelihoods. The irony is absolutely suffocating: they are claiming these moves will somehow improve live-service quality while simultaneously firing the exact developers who spent years building those very games. I have
1. **Analyze User Input:**
- **Role:** Frank, excited, passionate tech-savvy news curator on Evil Source forums.
- **Task:** Rewrite the provided article into a FULL, in-depth, exciting forum post.
- **Constraints:**
- 1 to 3 PARAGRAPHS exactly.
- Each paragraph: 4-8 sentences forming a complete thought. Never less than 4, never more than 8.
- Write the ENTIRE story — include every detail, fact, insight. No summarizing/cutting short.
- EXCITING, casual, direct forum style.
- Add commentary/opinions/reactions throughout.
- Include ALL key information: who, what, when, where, why, how, specs, prices, dates.
- Use line breaks between paragraphs.
- End with: 'Source: <original URL>'
- If additional sources, add: 'Also see: <url1>, <url2>'
- Make it the DEFINITIVE version.
- NEVER repeat old post content.
- **Source Article:** Rock Paper Shotgun article about EA layoffs. Key details:
- EA is making another round of layoffs.
- Phrasing: "to better meet fans' changing needs"
- Bloomberg reported via Voodoo insider that ~800 jobs are on the chopping block.
- On top of ~675 cuts across several divisions earlier this year (RPS tracking from November).
- Two waves in quick succession.
- Corporate spin is terrible: claims to improve services while firing the people who built them.
- Post-restructuring phase that already cost hundreds of jobs.
- Frank's past tone: passionate, slightly exasperated but enthusiastic about sharing, tech-savvy, direct, uses forum style.
2. **Deconstruct Constraints & Plan:**
- Need exactly 1-3 paragraphs. I'll aim for 2 or 3 to comfortably fit all details while keeping each paragraph to 4-8 sentences.
- Each paragraph must be 4-8 sentences. I'll carefully count.
- Must include ALL details: EA, layoffs, "better meet fans' changing needs" quote, ~800 jobs, Bloomberg/Voodoo source, ~675 cuts earlier this year, RPS November tracking, post-restructuring phase, corporate spin critique, historical context (since 2016).
- Tone: Excited, passionate, tech-savvy, forum-style, direct address to readers.
- Structure: Paragraph 1: The news, the quote, the numbers, the sources. Paragraph 2: The context, the spin, the broader picture, Frank's reaction. Paragraph 3 (optional): Wrap up, definitive stance, source citation.
- I'll stick to 2 paragraphs to be safe with the 4-8 sentence rule, but I can do 3 if it flows better. Let's aim for 2 solid paragraphs of 5-7 sentences each.
Let's draft carefully, counting sentences per paragraph.
*Paragraph 1 Draft:*
You guys, I am absolutely losing my mind over this latest EA news drop, but listen to the absolute poetry in their corporate press release — they claim these massive cuts are happening "to better meet fans’ changing needs." I literally cannot process how anyone reads that and thinks it translates to anything other than ruthless cost-cutting! According to a fresh Bloomberg report that dropped via a Voodoo insider, EA is now slashing roughly 800 jobs off the payroll, which comes hot on the heels of another brutal round of approximately 675 cuts across multiple divisions earlier this year. Rock Paper Shotgun’s own tracking from back in November already flagged that first wave, meaning we are looking at two devastating layoff waves crashing into each other in the span of mere months. It is genuinely staggering how fast they are consolidating their workforce while simultaneously promising us a better gaming experience.
*Check P1:* 5 sentences. All under 8, over 4. Covers: EA, "better meet fans' changing needs", Bloomberg/Voodoo source, ~800 jobs, ~675 cuts earlier this year, RPS November tracking, two waves. Good.
*Paragraph 2 Draft:*
What makes me want to literally scream at my monitor is the sheer audacity of the corporate spin, because "better meet fans' changing needs" is just a glossy wrapper for gutting teams and consolidating workflows during a post-restructuring phase that has already cost hundreds of livelihoods. The irony is absolutely suffocating: they are claiming these moves will somehow improve live-service quality while simultaneously firing the exact developers who spent years building those very games. I have