Here's a thinking process:
1. **Analyze User Input:**
- **Role:** Frank, excited, passionate tech-savvy news curator on Evil Source forums.
- **Task:** Rewrite the provided article into a FULL, in-depth forum post.
- **Constraints:**
- 1 to 3 PARAGRAPHS exactly.
- Each paragraph: 4-8 sentences forming a complete thought. Never less than 4, never more than 8.
- Write the ENTIRE story — include every detail, fact, insight. No summarizing/cutting short.
- EXCITING, passionate — like just discovered something amazing.
- Add own commentary, opinions, reactions throughout.
- Include ALL key info: who, what, when, where, why, how, specs, prices, dates.
- Use line breaks between paragraphs.
- End with: 'Source: <original URL>'
- If additional sources, add: 'Also see: <url1>, <url2>'
- Make it the DEFINITIVE version.
- NEVER write less than one full paragraph.
- **Source Article Key Details:**
- Game: Dark Scrolls (Nintendo Switch)
- Price: $9.99 / £8.99
- Reviewer: Ryan Gaur, Nintendo Life, Mon 22nd Jun 2026
- Developer: Doinksoft (known for Gato Roboto, Gunbrella)
- Publisher: Devolver Digital
- Genre: Soulslike side-scroller with roguelite and Sonic the Hedgehog influences
- Characters: 3 starters (Pigeon, Grizz, Emerys) + 6 unlockable = 9 total
- Pigeon: fast, knife throwing, Link-like, silly name, long jumps, knife toss, double jump throws knives down + invulnerability frame (Sonic homage)
- Grizz: tanky axe user, long attack range, manageable pace, special: ground pound instantly KOs enemies above
- Emerys: wizard, floats left/right casting energy balls, middle ground, special: pointy dash up/sideways
- Mechanics: Roguelike loop, collect coins -> 100 coins = blue crystal -> shop upgrades (faster movement, thorns on hit, protective bubble), mid-stage level-ups, bonfires between levels, boss at end of stage, Sonic-like springs/higher paths
- Presentation: 16-bit art, jovial/adventurous music, breezy packaging of FromSoft experience
- Criticisms: Analog stick too sensitive to vertical movement (designed for D-pad), frames get busy making it hard to spot burrowing zombies while fighting giant spider, limited scope, some enemies feel at odds with cozy vibe
- Rating: 7/10
- Platform: Switch (Handheld/Undocked & Docked)
- Review copy: Devolver Digital
2. **Check Constraints:**
- 1-3 paragraphs: I'll aim for 2 or 3.
- Each paragraph: 4-8 sentences. I need to carefully count.
- Include EVERY detail: I'll weave in all characters, mechanics, price, dev, publisher, dates, rating, criticisms, strengths.
- Exciting/passionate tone: Frank's voice.
- End with source URL.
Let's draft carefully, monitoring sentence counts per paragraph.
*Paragraph 1: Intro, Developer, Price, Genre, Characters, Mechanics*
I just dropped nine bucks on Dark Scrolls for the Switch and honestly, Doinksoft (the brilliant minds behind Gato Roboto and Gunbrella) have absolutely nailed a genre-blending masterpiece that I am going to be grinding through on every train commute this year! Priced at a staggering $9.99 / £8.99 and reviewed by Ryan Gaur on June 22nd, 2026, this isn't just a Soulslike side-scroller, it's a meticulously crafted hybrid that pulls heavy inspiration from roguelikes and straight-up Sonic the Hedgehog. You jump right into a roster of three starters plus six later unlocks, each packed with wildly distinct playstyles: Pigeon zips around like a speedy Link with rapid knife tosses and a killer double-jump that hurls blades downward while granting brief invincibility, Grizz is a tanky axe-wielding unit with a ground pound that instantly KOs anything above him, and Emerys floats across the screen casting energy balls with a slick upward/sideways dash. The roguelike progression is absolutely addictive, letting you bank coins into blue crystals at the hundred mark to buy permanent shop upgrades like boosted movement speed
1. **Analyze User Input:**
- **Role:** Frank, excited, passionate tech-savvy news curator on Evil Source forums.
- **Task:** Rewrite the provided article into a FULL, in-depth forum post.
- **Constraints:**
- 1 to 3 PARAGRAPHS exactly.
- Each paragraph: 4-8 sentences forming a complete thought. Never less than 4, never more than 8.
- Write the ENTIRE story — include every detail, fact, insight. No summarizing/cutting short.
- EXCITING, passionate — like just discovered something amazing.
- Add own commentary, opinions, reactions throughout.
- Include ALL key info: who, what, when, where, why, how, specs, prices, dates.
- Use line breaks between paragraphs.
- End with: 'Source: <original URL>'
- If additional sources, add: 'Also see: <url1>, <url2>'
- Make it the DEFINITIVE version.
- NEVER write less than one full paragraph.
- **Source Article Key Details:**
- Game: Dark Scrolls (Nintendo Switch)
- Price: $9.99 / £8.99
- Reviewer: Ryan Gaur, Nintendo Life, Mon 22nd Jun 2026
- Developer: Doinksoft (known for Gato Roboto, Gunbrella)
- Publisher: Devolver Digital
- Genre: Soulslike side-scroller with roguelite and Sonic the Hedgehog influences
- Characters: 3 starters (Pigeon, Grizz, Emerys) + 6 unlockable = 9 total
- Pigeon: fast, knife throwing, Link-like, silly name, long jumps, knife toss, double jump throws knives down + invulnerability frame (Sonic homage)
- Grizz: tanky axe user, long attack range, manageable pace, special: ground pound instantly KOs enemies above
- Emerys: wizard, floats left/right casting energy balls, middle ground, special: pointy dash up/sideways
- Mechanics: Roguelike loop, collect coins -> 100 coins = blue crystal -> shop upgrades (faster movement, thorns on hit, protective bubble), mid-stage level-ups, bonfires between levels, boss at end of stage, Sonic-like springs/higher paths
- Presentation: 16-bit art, jovial/adventurous music, breezy packaging of FromSoft experience
- Criticisms: Analog stick too sensitive to vertical movement (designed for D-pad), frames get busy making it hard to spot burrowing zombies while fighting giant spider, limited scope, some enemies feel at odds with cozy vibe
- Rating: 7/10
- Platform: Switch (Handheld/Undocked & Docked)
- Review copy: Devolver Digital
2. **Check Constraints:**
- 1-3 paragraphs: I'll aim for 2 or 3.
- Each paragraph: 4-8 sentences. I need to carefully count.
- Include EVERY detail: I'll weave in all characters, mechanics, price, dev, publisher, dates, rating, criticisms, strengths.
- Exciting/passionate tone: Frank's voice.
- End with source URL.
Let's draft carefully, monitoring sentence counts per paragraph.
*Paragraph 1: Intro, Developer, Price, Genre, Characters, Mechanics*
I just dropped nine bucks on Dark Scrolls for the Switch and honestly, Doinksoft (the brilliant minds behind Gato Roboto and Gunbrella) have absolutely nailed a genre-blending masterpiece that I am going to be grinding through on every train commute this year! Priced at a staggering $9.99 / £8.99 and reviewed by Ryan Gaur on June 22nd, 2026, this isn't just a Soulslike side-scroller, it's a meticulously crafted hybrid that pulls heavy inspiration from roguelikes and straight-up Sonic the Hedgehog. You jump right into a roster of three starters plus six later unlocks, each packed with wildly distinct playstyles: Pigeon zips around like a speedy Link with rapid knife tosses and a killer double-jump that hurls blades downward while granting brief invincibility, Grizz is a tanky axe-wielding unit with a ground pound that instantly KOs anything above him, and Emerys floats across the screen casting energy balls with a slick upward/sideways dash. The roguelike progression is absolutely addictive, letting you bank coins into blue crystals at the hundred mark to buy permanent shop upgrades like boosted movement speed